3 / 5
What nobody sees
What was really going on for you? What were you thinking or feeling that other people didn't know?
A week later, in the middle of July, the weather was beautiful, I heard my name in the distance. It was Sousou, with her future husband, Amadi. They made a beautiful couple. Amadi said a quick hello, gave me a look full of contempt, and walked away to let us talk. How dare I wear shorts in ninety-degree heat? A sacrilege, and fuel for my reputation as an easy girl. "You okay? You look tired." "Yeah, I'm fine. It's the heat. How is our future bride?" "Honestly, I couldn't be happier." "I'm happy for you." "I'm happy for you too, Mrs CEO . The neighborhood is going to be weird without you." "Thanks, sweetie. Are you really happy with him?" "Why 'really' happy? Yes, I am. I have everything I wanted: a husband who loves me, who wants kids. I hope to have a little one very soon." "You don't want to wait a while after the wedding before having kids?" "Wait for what? I'm twenty-one. It's time! You don't want kids?" "I don't know yet. There's so much to see in the world, new experiences, people to meet…" "Guys, you mean?" "Sure, why not. But that's not what matters most to me, you know." "Well, it matters to me. And to my family. And to my reputation." "If it's for you, I understand. But for your family, for your reputation—no. You can't live your whole life to please your family." "My reputation matters enormously to my parents and my brothers. It's not like your brother, who doesn't give a damn about you!" "No need to be aggressive, I was just saying—" "I'm not aggressive. It just annoys me that you think you've got it all figured out. Always talking about your degrees, wanting to be a CEO. Always school. For you it's the answer to everything." "I never said that." "But you think it! It's in your eyes. The questions you ask. The way you hide the fact that you're leaving—you almost wanted to leave without saying goodbye." "I would never have done that. I asked you one question. I apologize." "You think everyone has the family you have? In my family, virginity matters, and a woman's reputation matters. I carry the weight of religion and family. You go out half naked, and nobody says anything. Everybody knows you sleep with guys, and your family says nothing. You have a bad reputation and you don't care—you almost want people to insult you. You know Amadi doesn't want you at the wedding, and I'm the one insisting, because despite everything people say about you, you're still a friend"