Everywhere but Where It Mattered

I passed without a distinction, but I got my bachelor’s degree. My plan had been to stop there. Get the degree, be proud of myself, and move on. But actually finishing it made me wonder what else I could do. So I kept going. I went on to complete my master’s with distinction—with a six-month-old baby. Somewhere along the way, something small changed how I spent my time. One day ,I lost my phone, In my own flat. I was pregnant, and my brain had apparently decided it had other priorities. During the first year of my master’s, I was studying without having to go into university, and I had no internship to attend. Back home, a master’s takes two years. There wasn’t much reason for me to be constantly available, and, to my surprise, I didn’t miss my phone. I still had a landline. The people I wanted to speak to had the number. And life became quieter. There were fewer conversations, fewer people to keep up with, and fewer reasons to interrupt what I was doing. I felt more relaxed. More at peace. Maybe having less contact with me gave a few people some peace too. Who knows? It made me realise that I didn’t need a huge circle. I needed people who encouraged me to grow, personally and professionally. People whose company felt good, with whom I could be honest and who could be honest with me. Because what was I getting out of all those conversations about someone who wasn’t even there? We had our own lives to talk about. Our own ideas, difficulties and good news. Did a hundred people really need to know what was happening in my life? Did I need to keep up with all of theirs? I wanted a few people I could build real friendships with. People who would support me as I worked towards a stable life, and with whom I could enjoy that life too. Travel somewhere new. Wander around a museum. See an exhibition. Try a restaurant and spend hours talking. I wanted time for those things. I also knew myself. Studying took effort. Doing something well meant giving it my attention, and I couldn’t give that attention to everything and everyone. A few years later, I decided that apparently a bachelor’s and a master’s weren’t enough.I needed an MBA. Yes. Needed. Once the idea was in my head, I wanted to see it through. By then, I had a full-time job in advertising, a husband, and three children. And I did it. I was able to achieve it because I knew where to invest my energy.