Everywhere but Where It Mattered

Today, I'm on my phone, but I'm almost never on a call. If someone looked at my call history, they'd find my husband and the numbers related to my kids' school or activities. My closest friends are busy—maybe busier than I am—so we send and receive a ton of WhatsApp messages. I'm in several WhatsApp groups, and that's how I stay up to date on what's happening with them, and vice versa. Let's not even talk about the voice messages, which I listen to twice to make sure I reply to every point. I also love that with one person, we communicate only by email. The lesson, if I had to define myself, is this: ambitious professionally, and loyal to the people I love. Both take energy. So I choose where mine goes. At forty, I've decided I've had enough of working to sit at other people's tables. I want to build my own table—I MEAN, my own company—and choose who I invite to sit around it. But the thing is, I have three kids, a husband, and a house to look after. A nurse's job when one of my kids or my husband is sick. Cleaning skills. Teacher skills to help my kids with their homework. And a brain used by the whole family as a shared memory, for organizational purposes. So building it will take time and energy, and more than ever, I'll need time to focus. One day I feel like a novelist. The next, working in advertising, I want to create an app. And on the weekend, I want to open a bakery and sell quiche. Most people would say to focus on one thing, and only one. Me, I say no! While working on my EchoedLives website, I'll order a ton of flour to bake the best pastries ever, while in my bed I'll be thinking about two new pilots, because c'mon, TV movies and shows these days are so predictable. I mean, I've had a thousand lives and experiences; I could write a book about myself. Note to self: write a memoir. In the middle of all this, I need to plan the dinner party I'm hosting, because that's who I am: a multitasking woman who needs her time to develop her ideas—but also, from time to time, to enjoy precious moments with the people I love.