Mrs Independent, It is how I love me

School was difficult in a different way. Boys could do almost anything—dress how they wanted, speak how they wanted, behave how they wanted—and people would simply say, "Boys will be boys." But if a girl wore a top that was too short, a skirt that was judged too revealing, too much makeup, or if someone spread a rumor out of jealousy or cruelty, she could easily get a bad reputation. That reputation became even worse if people believed she had sex. They would call her cruel names, and it was not only men who did it. Women also used those words against other women. To me, it was unfair and unacceptable. So I decided to live the way I wanted. Some people said I was trying to act like a man. Others said I was crazy. Some of my friends did not want to be seen with me in public because I had too many male friends, which made people assume I was sleeping with all of them. It became unbearable, both at home and at school. One day, I went to school and saw the word "slut" written in large letters in the boys' bathroom. I did not cry there. I wanted to prove that I was strong. I wanted them to believe their words did not hurt me. But it hurt. At home, I spent most of my time in my bedroom. At school, only one or two loyal friends stayed with me. And I had to ask them for a few dollars to eat at the cafeteria for lunch. I was ashamed of not being able to go to any birthday party, or to the movies, because I didn't have any money.