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The Echo
Looking back, what has stayed with you? Did it change anything about you, your life, or the way you see things today?
I understand that it can be hard, as a family member, a friend, or a boyfriend, to be with someone like me. Even at work. I have resigned more times than I can count, because I refuse to be treated badly just because I have to work. With my friends, even if I love them and love being around them, I like to be alone with myself. I think it's with ex-boyfriends that it was the most challenging. Maybe I was dependent emotionally, but financially speaking, I have never asked them to be the one in charge of paying everything for me. Even the hotel room! When I lived with my ex-boyfriend, we used to do 50/50, and the lease was under both our names. You can't tell me to get out, and I can't tell you either. Same for the car, or the bills. Except God, I don't want anyone saying, "You owe me." Today, I have two friends who cannot leave their men, even if they don't like each other, or because he is violent, or a bad husband, or simply because there is no love. I am happy in my marriage 92% of the time. If one day being married means being sad, or unhappy, money won't be the reason to stay in this marriage. Work will soon be the same. I have my plan A, and to fund it, I'm using my plan B—meaning my job. They pay what they think my expertise is worth; to me, it's way too low compared with the market. But I have to be patient, as I was with my parents and with high school. I have to show up, do what I have to do, and do my best. But there is no way my man or my job can say that I owe them. Only God can say that. That's why I keep asking Him to give me physical health—and I will take care of my financial health.