He Has Never Changed the Toilet Paper. Not Once.

I don't think my husband realizes how this lack of cleaning time affects me. My mother used to say that an apartment should always be clean enough that if an uninvited guest shows up, they won't be bothered by any mess. So always keep your living room and bathroom clean, because that is what people will judge you on. Around us, most of our friends have decided to keep the peace—meaning a cleaning lady comes at most twice a week. For us, that was not an option, for financial reasons. So the argument got heavier, year after year. One day, my aunt came unannounced and pointed out the dust on the TV. I said, "But it's my husband's chore week, not mine." She was so surprised. Different generation, different opinion. My husband was in our room with the door open, and I'm pretty sure he heard everything. At that moment, he was so happy to hear what she said, because it comforted him. "You, the new generation, you don't know how to keep a man," she said. "You think your man should be your equal. He is not. He is the boss, the head of the family. Maybe if you are sick or pregnant, but otherwise, you have to do everything to make him happy." So I asked her, "Are you happy, doing that for your husband for more than thirty years?" "Silly girl, of course I am happy to do that for my husband, the father of my kids, the one I married in front of men and God." She saw in my look that what she'd said had pissed me off. "Sweetie, I'm just saying: do most of it, and ask him for help. But don't let anyone say your home is dirty. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're working a hundred hours a week or pregnant with triplets. If someone comes into your house and finds it dirty, it will be because of you, and only you." So on top of putting up with my man's bad behavior, I also have to put up with my aunt's comments—and with the rule of the entire world, which says that the woman is, in the end, the one in charge of the home. It's like a universal law. And don't forget: I have to do the cleaning, not complain when he makes a mess, and still not be too exhausted for sex