He Has Never Changed the Toilet Paper. Not Once.

For a few days after my experiment in not being cooperative, my husband changed. I saw him doing his own laundry, cleaning the microwave he's the only one using. I even saw him put his shoes lined up on the shoe rack instead of in a mess in front of the door. One day, he even surprised me by cooking. I called my friends, so happy to share my advice and my reward after years of struggling. Then he got seriously sick—I mean, for him it was a lot: a bad cough with the flu. He stayed three days in bed doing nothing, and in my mind I was like, he's sick, let's accept that I can't ask too much of him. Then he got better, but he needed more time to fully recover, and within a week, all the good resolutions and promises disappeared. I started making one comment, then another. Then I screamed, yelled at him, threatened to leave him. Then I was crying and talking to myself in the shower. This period lasted about a month. Then an event came up: his parents were supposed to come visit us. For his friends, I had finally done something. This time, I decided to traumatize him, to the point where he would understand how serious I was. Same story, different people. Two days before, he asked what my plans were for his parents coming over. I replied, "Nothing special." He smiled. The day before, he went to the grocery store and did some cleaning—only the living room and the bathroom, and a little bit of the kitchen. So, for him, I would cook. On the day, he woke me up with croissants and coffee in bed, because of course I needed energy to cook a three- or four-hour recipe for his parents. I was planning to cook. Then he came and said he was going to the gym and would be back in three hours. Of course. I smiled and said okay. When he left, I took a shower, made myself pretty, went to see my friend, and blocked his number. Legend has it that he left so many messages and called every single one of my friends. I came back home two days later. We had a clear conversation about the new chores, and I planned to do nothing for at least nine months. If he loved me, he needed to change. It wasn't easy, but he understood how serious I was. He understood that I am patient, but when I say no more, it's no more. I won't say he changed, but he improved. Let's say that before inviting someone over unexpectedly, I need to clean a bit. And I still have to check that there's toilet paper in the bathroom before doing my business.